How do I stop being condescending?

If you love your wife, you will make a list of all the good points about her. You will recognize that she has qualities you lack (and vice-versa). You COMPLIMENT each other. You need to have RESPECT for her. When you love and respect someone, you would not ever think of saying something demeaning to her. You may have a higher IQ than she does (IF you do), but that doesn't mean you are altogether smarter. Street smarts count, too. I know some "brilliant" scientists who couldn't carry on a meaningful conversation with an sick parent in the hospital. They have no empathy. Once you learn to respect your wife, it should be easier and easier to stop yourself before you say something to her that will wound her soul. Married couples shoud NEVER wound each other's souls. Practice. Practice. Practice saying NICE things only.